You know what I notice so much about spring?
The looks you get from women, you know as you go about your day-to-day routine and every time you turn around there is some young thing looking your way!
What I have figured out is this; They are not looking at you, they are looking to see if you are looking at them!
About a hundred years ago, I was married to a very beautiful southern bell, and I bring this up because we had a discussion about the “wondering eye syndrome”
She thought it was funny, I told her she was crazy and besides, she did more girl watching then I did, after she thought for a minute, she said, yes, I do, but I am looking at fashion, not with desire, I hate when she does that! But the fact is, she was right (I hate that too).
Women look at women all the time. They look at their dress and their shoes and boob size. We (guys) look at them and wonder what they look like naked.

I walked into an office one time and the girl that was working there got up and met me about half way across the room, she said “ can I help you” and for one split second, not even a measurable space of time I looked down at her small but nicely shaped and “perky” and I might add bra-less breast. I quickly looked back up at her because this situation makes me nervous (too). She then, with out hesitation, draped her arms across her chess as if I had yelled, WOW! Nice tits, do you have a menu, or a price list! What I was thinking was, your at work, why don’t you have a bra on, we rent by the month, not by the hour! But just so I know, how much for an hour? (just kidding).

Anyway, I digress,
A guy comes home from a bar, he’s drunk, his girlfriend says “how much money did you spend? He says “about $80, the girlfriend freaks out!
She yells “do you know how long it would take me to spend $80?
The guy says “well lets see, you don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you have your own p***y, I guess, forever…

A female dog pees on the ground, a male dog pees on a tree to mark the ground he wants to cover where the female dog is hanging around, sometimes he gets lucky, sometimes he don’t. the point here is, you girls know where you are and where you are going to be, we dogs are always pissin’ up the wrong tree…

I have to go pee, bye...

So, are you good for the ozone if you hitch-hike, well I would have to say yes, your not using any kind of fossil fuel and there is one less car on the road.
On the other hand, are you bad for the ozone if you drive right by the poor soul and don’t pick him up?

I think we ought to have hitch-hike kiosk all over the city, we would be promoting car pooling and you would get to drive in the HOV lane.
Not to mention, that serial killers have to be on time once in a while too.

Well this might be a stretch, but isn’t this what we hear from the nay Sayers and the doom and gloom crowd. Stupid crap that spews from the pie holes of people who want to talk about all the bad stuff in our lives and don’t have any solutions.

I have some solutions;

Radio talk shows, you talk for a living…And?

Hollywood elite; A director tells you how to act and what to say, until a director tells you to, don’t talk. Who asked your opinion anyway?

Wives and children of elected officials, no one voted for you so go back to doing what ever it was that you were doing before your Dad got elected. If you want a voice, then go earn one.

Non patriots of the United States, Delta is ready when you are, we will even take up donations for your plane ticket. What? You don’t think this is a good idea, then shut up and behave or we will issue you a departure slip. Which means you will have to leave and we don’t care where you go!

People who threaten to commit suicide, Got bullets?
The next time some one puts a gun to their head or stands on the edge of a building, let them...
What do you do with a child that says they are going to hold their breath until their face turns blue?

Howard Stern, Shock jock. You know what shocks me, why he has an audience or a job, disgusting human being.

News, its only news when it is “new”. Hey Greta, do you know what the meaning of sensationalism; it’s not the same as journalism.

I want to run for president, I know you all want jump up and vote for me, but let me warn you, I have a very low threshold for crap-olla. I will run on a ticket of American so no one is confused about my agenda.
I will end the war in Iraq by telling that country that if we have to come back here, you are not going to be happy … or alive.

I'm just waiting for everyone to bash me on my last blog on ANYTHINGOES.
I know I will have to explain myself to the really "self injured" people who read my blog.
I say self-injured, because if they read the whole blog, they wouldn't be offended, they would be glad it was out there were they could respond without posting the same blog them-selves!

Later, and remember,

E pluribus unum...(One out of many)

When I went down to get my drivers license for NC, it was no problem, I took the test, passed, it was all good...but, When I went to get my truck registered, it was a whole different story. They wanted a copy of my title. No problem right?.. Well as it turns out, my finance company has to submit for this information before they can send it to me, which would be OK, except I'm supposed to be on the road this afternoon for Walls, MS. After several phone calls and some expletive deleted comments, I finally got everything fixed, All I had to do was a back flip, jump through two hoops and juggle a bowling ball, a grapefruit and an egg! But it could have been worse, instead of an egg, it could have been a hand grenade!!